At 22 I was ready to quit football ... this changed EVERYTHING

At 22, I was ready to walk away from football completely.

People talk about resilience like it’s something you’re born with. But at that stage of my life, I didn’t have any.

I’d gone from playing grassroots football to making my Premier League debut for Newcastle United at 19. On the outside, it sounded like a dream come true. But inside, I was completely unprepared for what came with it.

Within a few years, I was released by Newcastle. I moved to Exeter City, and we were relegated out of the Football League.

While all this was happening, my parents divorced, and my grandad, my biggest supporter who watched every single game, passed away.

I was lost. I couldn’t cope with the emotions that came with being a footballer. I remember driving home from training one day, tears in my eyes, thinking, “I can’t do this anymore.”

I had just signed for Doncaster Rovers, and I was finding it so tough. I didn’t have the tools to be resilient.

Then I met a brilliant mentor who completely changed how I saw things. He made me realise that I could change how I think, and that I could change my mentality.

He taught me this:

👉 How you think affects your feelings.
👉 How you feel affects your actions.
👉 And how you act affects your results.

For a footballer in a results-driven industry, learning this was a turning point in my life and career. I realised that how I think directly affects my results, and that I could take control of my own thoughts.

That lesson changed everything for me, and it’s one of the biggest reasons I went on to play over 800 games as a professional footballer.

Now, looking back as a dad, with sons the same age I was when I signed for Newcastle, I see so many young players going through the same thing.

They’re told they need to be more resilient. But who’s actually teaching them how to be?

Who’s helping them deal with rejection, loss of form, and pressure to perform? Who’s helping them understand that mistakes and setbacks aren’t proof they’re not good enough, they’re part of the process?

We are so proud at ProMindset Academy to be mentoring footballers every single day around this, helping them make their mindset their superpower, and teaching them the tools that build resilience from the inside out.

Because resilience isn’t something you’re born with. It’s something you can build.

Here are two ways we help footballers do it:

1️⃣ We teach them how to think, not just how to play

When things go wrong, most players focus on the mistake or the bad game. We help them look deeper. We teach them to reflect, reframe, and react positively before, during and after games, so they control their thoughts and emotions instead of being controlled by them.

2️⃣ We help them separate football from identity

So many young players believe their performance defines who they are. When they play well, they feel good. When they don’t, their confidence drops.

We help them understand they are more than the result on a Saturday. Once they see that, they play with freedom, and real resilience starts to grow.

Final Thought

I’m currently mentoring a small number of players on a 1-1 basis, helping them develop the same mindset tools and resilience that changed my own career.

If you’d like your child to work with me directly, to build confidence, resilience, and the mentality to handle whatever football throws their way, you can register your interest through the website.

James

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